It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.  – Leonardo da Vinci

Do you have these dreams that keep coming back, like your REM sleep is on replay a few times a week for no apparent reason? (I don’t mean dreaming about snow when you’re stuck in a snow sculpture contest for 40 hours with no sleep – “been there done that” and believe me snow was all I dreamed about for days afterwards…) I mean the kind of dream or situation that automatically pops back in your head like someone calling your name? For me, it’s speed. In my dreams, I’m most often being chased (that or I forget to put my contacts on and can’t see anything – so I chase my glasses or contacts… very annoying). Every single time, I run. I run like I was born to do just that. I feel every muscle pushing against the earth and gravity and I have infinite lung capacity, which always surprises me.

I mention it because, in a previous post draft, I was toying with the idea of the first step of any journey: getting back in shape. But which shape should I tackle first, mental or physical? I know what I must do but still I choose the book or keyboard or remote… So, mental fitness first, since it’s that muscle that will get me moving, the “deciding” muscle. Deciding, meaning cutting away any other option.

Here are some tips that a coach once gave me. Most of them rendered the exercising ritual less painful. But it stays that, painful. Still, here it goes:

• minimize the thinking time – or “making up excuses” time – between the plan to exercise and the actual training session;
• bring aspects of other activities you love to your training session (listen to music, watch a movie if you’re on a treadmill or stationary bike, etc.);
• make others keep you accountable for your exercise – tell them what you’ll do and make them check up on you to see if you followed through (ego power).

I put all of this in motion, signed up on fitocracy – fitness for geeks website– and got a new pair of running shoes special for my feet and running method (courtesy of Le Coureur Nordique – two thumbs up). Fitocracy is great because it brings the patience, resilience and determination that I experienced only via playing videogames into actual physical training. Plus, I get to level up. Seriously, how cool is that?

But a website will not make you put on those beautiful shoes to go outside and taste fresh air. Ego can only push you so far.

I don’t want to be fighting my way to a decent physical shape; couldn’t it be enjoyable? Couldn’t I be pulled toward that goddess-like physical shape?

Introspection time: what is the strongest force inside me, the one that could make me do absolutely anything? Is it the perfectionist and infinitely proud Suzanne? The sweet and caring Suzy who wants to please everybody? The pissed off Zan who wants to rule over every impulse and be right?

In some background reality of my soul lays a silly girl who always dreamed of being a superhero. The real kind. Like, superspeed superhero level. But that little girl doesn’t look cool and, seriously, I’m way too old to show that girl to anyone anymore… or so I thought.

I signed up for an intensive parkour weekend training feeling scared and silly and giggly. The actual thing was brutally demanding and I ended up not being quite physically prepared for such an undertaking. However, it showed me what human bodies were capable of. Have you ever watched a parkour video on YouTube like the Yamakasis or others? Seriously, that’s as close to a superhero as anyone can ever get in my opinion.

Unfortunately, I hurt an ankle and wrist during that weekend and was not able to train for over a month. Now, I’m at that point where I know what I would be getting myself into by signing up for parkour classes. So the silly girl is feeling a bit self-conscious and it’s not making it any easier to sign up. But I think that’s it, the first step: stepping into uncertainty with courage and confidence. I do still want to be a superhero, as silly as it may sound. But what if that feeling could pull me towards undertaking actions I never dreamed of tackling before? What if I could do three muscle-up in a row? Who would I be then?

I’m guessing: one step closer to a superhero 🙂 Brave, courageous and determined.

Do you have these dreams that keep coming back, like your inner self is on replay a few times a week to remind you of who you could be? Who are you? And tomorrow, who will you be? Let me know, maybe we’ll share a segment of the road sometime.

Cheers,